Marauders The Musical!
by Mairead Monroe
Summary: I'M BACK! CHAPTER NINE FINALLY! Our darling Marauders break out into song, as you do in Hogwarts. But why are they? Who is behind it! Can we hear more! A bit slashy, I couldn't help it! MWPP! rr!
1. James

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Marauders - The Musical! 

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Author's Note - Can you see it? Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs, singing their little hearts out! Well, I imagined it, and wrote it! Enjoy! And review! This is totally review driven! Read AN at bottom for more!

Chapter One - James 

"Look at her…" James whispered to Sirius. "Just look at her Padfoot… Isn't she wonderful?" James sighed, slopping mashed potatoes down his robes.

"Prongs, you alright?" Sirius asked, edging nearer Remus. "I reckon he has finally lost it…" 

"He has hasn't he? I bet we could hex him and he wouldn't even notice." Remus muttered, shaking his head at James. 

"Prongs?" Sirius waved his hand in front of James's face, but he was still staring at Lily dreamily. "James? James Potter? Snivellus is about to chuck Bubotuber Pus on your head!" Sirius looked at Remus dumbfounded, Remus and Peter shrugged, and carried on eating, Sirius followed suit. 

"If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?" James suddenly said, Sirius, Remus and Peter dropped their knifes and forks in shock.

"What did he just say?" Remus asked Sirius, then glancing at Peter who wore a quizzical expression.

"I never know what the future brings, but I know you are here with me now." James was now standing, his chest puffed out. He was _singing_! "We'll make it through and I hope you are the one I share my life with…" Lily had finally noticed what was going on, she dropped her goblet with a clunk, sending milk spreading all over the table. Sirius, Remus and James tried not to laugh. 

"He has finally _lost it_." 

"I don't want to run away, but I can't take it, I don't understand… If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am? Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?" Lily now backed away from the Gryffindor table, with a horror struck look upon her sweet face. "If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?"

"Does he?" Remus snickered, holding his hands to his face. 

"If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head? If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life? If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?" James now leaped onto the table, staring down at Lily, his hazel eyes still misty and wistful. Lily looked petrified, she seemed to be glued to the spot, her face livid with shock. 

"I don't know why you're so far away but I know that this much is true." James continued to sing. "And I hope you are the one I share my life with!" He now knelt down on the table in front of Lily, a soppy smile on his face. "And I wish that you could be the one I _die _with!" Lily now shrieked, her eyes widening.

"JAMES POTTER! WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?!" McGonagall shouted, marching up the aisle, James ignored her.

"And I pray in you're the one I build my home with. I hope I love you all my life!" James bellowed, he now looked up to the enchanted ceiling (azure blue sky, and blazing sun), holding the note for all it was worth. 

"Bloody hell…" Sirius muttered, looking almost as thunderstruck as Lily.

"Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away! And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today! Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right! And though I can't be with you tonight! And know my heart is by your side…" And holding on to the high note, he pulled out a red rose from nowhere and handed it to Lily. It was hard to tell who was more disgusted, McGonagall, or Lily. 

"DETENTION POTTER!" Lily nodded in agreement, although her face was still wide-eyed and mangled with repulsion and shock. Sirius and Remus grabbed James by the shoulder and hurled him off the table. Lily now ran out of the Great Hall with her friend Davina. 

James tried to run after her, but the Marauders gripped him tightly. "Lily?" James muttered, his hand held out in the direction of the doors. "Come back…" 

"Erm, Prongs, I think you've ruined your chances." Sirius smiled grimly, still holding back tears of laughter. 

"Why? What just happened?" 

Y 

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Read it? So review it! Cheers! This is totally review driven as I have to do research into suitable songs, and I'm not going to continue if I don't get a lot of reviews, so pleeasse review! 

  
**_Disclaimer - _**None of the above characters belong to me, and If You're Not The One, is written by, and Preformed by the very lovely, local lad, Daniel Beddingfield!   


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Authors' Note, again - It was suggested by some of my friends to ask reviewers to leave their email addy if they want to be sent an email for when I update, as some peeps (including myself…) forget about fics they like and want to continue reading. So, if you want to be updated on the next chapter, (If I write one, if I get enough reviews, hint hint!) then leave your email address!   
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Remus

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Marauders - The Musical! 

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Author's Note - Can you see it? Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs, singing their little hearts out! Well, I imagined it, and wrote it! Enjoy! And review! This is totally review driven! 

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Chapter Two - Remus 

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Friday 9th May 1976

The Marauders stepped into the Entrance Hall, James was still looking a trifle confused, whilst the other three refused to believe what they saw. 

"You mean to say, I just sang a song from the future?" James asked his three friends, totally perplexed.

"Yes, you did mate." Sirius laughed, his dark eyes scrunching up in glee. "Oh god, I wish we had those… Oh what are they called? Muggles have them…" 

"Video cameras?" James sighed. "Lily mentioned them in Charms, she said that she should film me…"

"So you can see what a git you are when you're around her?" Remus asked fairly. 

"Erm, yeah…" James shook his head. "Any ideas as to why I just _sang?_" He looked around his friends who just shrugged and frowned. 

*

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Next Day….

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter, made their way down to breakfast, James tried desperately to forget the fiasco at dinner yesterday, but he couldn't, as Snape was glaring at him with a strange smirk on his face… 

"I bet he did it." James hissed, glowering at Snape from across the hall. "Put a charm on me…" James sighed, then noticed an howl drop a red letter centimetres from his bowl of Weetabix. 

"You've got a Howler." Remus whispered. James didn't need telling, he stared at it, utterly gob smacked. "Go on, open it." Sirius and Peter nodded in agreement. Gingerly, James ripped it open, and before the entire school, he heard it.

"JAMES POTTER! YOU ARE SUCH A BIG HEADED, NASTY LITTLE BOY! HOW DARE YOU THINK YOU CAN _SING_ TO _ME_ AT DINNER? THAT WAS THE MOST HORRIFYING MOMENT OF MY ENTIRE _LIFE_! YOU SELFISH PIG! I HOPE YOU HAVE A HORRID DETENTION! CLEANING OUT BEDPANS IN THE HOSPITAL WING WITH OUT MAGIC! OH GOD I HATE YOU POTTER!" Lily Evans's voice echoed around the Great Hall, James watched the letter curl up into flames. Snape was now grinning broadly. Sirius and Peter were trying their best not to laugh at the furious expression on James's face. Whereas Remus…

"Another red letter day." Remus said quietly, James, Sirius and Peter frowned at him.

"It was a Howler!" James shouted defensively. He crossed his arms, and went to dig into his Weetabix.

"So the Knut has dropped and the children are creating, the other half ran away taking, all the cash and leaving you with the lumber, got a pain in the chest, doctor's on strike what you need is a rest." It was now Remus that was singing, quietly, in barely a whisper, but he was still singing. James nearly fell on the seat, whereas Sirius and Peter started to laugh again. 

"Moony?" James asked warily.

"It's not easy love, but you've got friends you can trust. Friends will be friends! When you're in need of love they give you care and attention! Friends will be friends! When you're through with life and all hope is lost! Hold out your hands cos friends will be friends right till the end!" Remus had now gained enough confidence to sing slightly louder for the chorus. He beamed around at his friends, who were now in thoroughly shocked. Remus turned to James

"Now it's a beautiful day! The postman delivered a letter from your lover-"

"It was a Howler, and she's not my lover, not yet…" James groaned, interrupting Remus's singing.

"Only a Floo call away, You tried to track her down but somebody stole her fireplace as a matter of fact you're getting used to life without her in your way!"

"What? No Moony, I'm not getting used to life without Lily-" 

"It's not easy love, but you've got friends you can trust. Friends will be friends! When you're in need of love they give you care and attention! Friends will be friends! When you're through with life and all hope is lost! Hold out your hands cos friends will be friends right till the end!" The entire Great Hall was now listening, and watching. McGonagall was fuming, her lips had gone white, and she was shaking, however, she wasn't moving. Dumbledore was smiling to himself, humming along. 

"Please don't say I did _this_!" James looked pleadingly at Sirius and Peter, who were so doubled up in laughter they couldn't laugh. Remus opened his mouth to sing again, but James screamed, "NO DON'T DO IT MOONY!" 

"It's not easy love, but you've got friends you can trust. Friends will be friends! When you're in need of love they give you care and attention! Friends will be friends! When you're through with life and all hope is lost! Hold out your hands cos friends will be friends right till the end!" He had now turned to Sirius, Sirius stopped laughing, he was beyond laughter, Peter however was still laughing. Remus had now taking to standing on the stool to the Gryffindor table, his fist banging his chest in pure love for his friends. McGonagall came to her senses. 

"YOU ARE A PREFECT! GET DOWN MISTER LUPIN! STOP THIS SINGING THIS INSTANT!" Remus didn't get to his senses, he had to sing the chorus to Peter.

"It's not easy love, but you've got friends you can trust. Friends will be friends! When you're in need of love they give you care and attention! Friends will be friends! When you're through with life and all hope is lost! Hold out your hands cos friends will be friends right till the end!" Remus held on to the note like James had done the other day. McGonagall had now strode over, she threw water over his head, but he still looked proudly down upon his friends, although his light brown hair was sopping wet. Luckily Remus had finally finished the song, having sung a bit for each Marauder. He stepped down, and frowned. 

"Moony? You alright?" Sirius asked, chuckling, tears streaming from his eyes. 

"Er, why am I wet?" Remus, absolutely confounded, he turned around and saw Professor McGonagall looking like a mad-woman, her wand out. 

"You were _singing_ Mr Lupin!" Remus swore under his breath. 

"Are you quite sure?" Remus frowned, he refused to believe he had sung like James.

"Yes, quite sure. Ask any one in his Hall!" 

"Oh…"

"Detention! See me after Transfiguration! You too Mr Potter!" McGonagall turned on her hell. "Singing in Hogwarts - what ever next?…" 

"I sang?" Remus asked his friends turning around to them. They nodded. "Was I good? What did I sing?"

"Queen, Friends Will Be Friends." Peter muttered matter-of-factly. 

"How'd you know what it was called?" Sirius asked, his eyebrows narrowed.

"Muggle music is alright… ok?" 

"Was I _good_?"

"Yeah actually… Was I good yesterday?" James asked. The three boys nodded. James looked upwards thoughtfully, he glanced over to the Slytherin table and saw Snape looking quite satisfied. 

"What is it Prongs?" Remus asked, sitting down, not noticing that everyone was whispering. 

"_Snivellus_… He did it!" James threw Snape a deadly look. The four of them stood up and looked over to Snape. 

"Are you sure?" Remus asked. "Doesn't it take advanced magic to make us _sing?_" 

"Well we manage to turn into animals at will…" 

"Sssh! I can't help mine…" Remus grumbled, putting his finger to his lips. The boys left the hall, unaware the entire school was now whispering about them. 

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Author's Note - _Wow! Thanks for the reviews! Biscuits for everyone!! _

Red Head From Hell… My Bio… the comment about Harry is sarcastic, I live in Britain, we're all sarcastic. If you read further on, I said it was all Voldemort's fault. I don't actually blame Harry at all, I was just being, well sarcastic… and I'm sarcastic a lot… I'm actually shocked someone read by bio! But maybe I should change it, not everyone gets my sarcasm…

But anyway! Wow! Thanks for all the reviews! I said that already didn't I? I hope you enjoyed it, and don't forget to review again! 


	3. Sirius, With A Little Help From Wormtail...

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Marauders - The Musical! 

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Author's Note - Can you see it? Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs, singing their little hearts out! Well, I imagined it, and wrote it! Enjoy! And review! This is totally review driven! Read AN at bottom for more! This chapter includes slash, I couldn't help it, I was determined to save my slash tendencies for another fic, but, alas no, I found a good song, and I kept on visualising a particular scene… 

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Chapter Three - Sirius, with a little help from Wormtail and Prongs!

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The next day…. Saturday 10th May 1976.… 

Sirius, Remus, Peter and James had finished their Transfiguration homework in five minutes, it was on Animagus, and funnily enough, they knew all the answers! They had made their way down to a small hilly area by the lake; not many students were out, it was the Hogsmeade weekend, and the Marauders saw enough of Hogsmeade by night without having to venture it in the daylight with a babble of students in their wake.

Sirius sitting impatiently on a hump of grass watching Remus read. Peter was watching James play with the Snitch again. James only played with it to keep his mind of Lily, and now he had that bloody Howler, and Snape possibly turning them all into tenors rolling around in his head… Remus would normally have a chit-chat with Sirius when they sat by the lake when no other students were around, but, the book was just to alluring… It kept his mind of yesterday's embarrassment in the Great Hall. Peter just watched James catching that Golden Snitch… 

Sirius couldn't remember a time when he was as bored as this… Maybe in their fifth year when they attacked Snape after their Defence Against The Dark Arts OWL, but this time, there wasn't even a greasy hair of Snape's to torture. Truthfully, he had one thing on his mind and he was staring at it…

"I can dim the lights and sing you songs full of sad things, we can do the tango just for two, I can serenade and gently play on your heart strings, be your Valentino just for you…" Sirius sang, he whispered it to himself before he realised what he was doing. "Ooh love - ooh loverboy

What're you doin' tonight, hey boy!" Before he knew it, he was standing on the lump of grass, the sun gleaming down on him, giving him something of a Godly light. It made the others look up. James gasped and the Snitch flew off across the lake. Peter's eyes closed then opened again. Remus dropped his book and leant back surveying Sirius with interest. "Set my alarm, turn on my charm, that's because I'm a good old-fashioned loverboy!" Sirius was smiling wistfully at Remus, who quite frankly, looked shocked, but pleased at this new outbreak of song. James and Peter now joined it - it was awfully odd…

"Ooh let me feel your heartbeat!" Sirius wailed, grinning broadly, Peter and James now positioned them beside Sirius. 

"Grow faster, faster!" James and Peter seemed to have taken up the position of backing vocals, and were singing quite hoarsely, all the same, it was rather remarkable!

"Ooh ooh let me feel your love heat! Come on and sit on my hot-seat of love and tell me how do you feel right after-all!" James and Peter had now taken up Oohing and Aaahing whilst Sirius bellowed (which was tainted with glee). "I'd like for you and I to go romancing…!" 

James and Peter's robes suddenly turned a gleaming white, making Remus's eyes water. James took Sirius's right arm, and Peter the left, and hauled him off the slight hill, Sirius was resting his head thoughtfully in his hands as he was dragged down near to Remus. He then whispered in a singing voice; "Say the word - your wish is my command!" Remus opened his mouth to say something, but Sirius continued to sing. "Ooh love - ooh loverboy! What're you doin' tonight?"

"Hey boy?" Peter and James piped, now skipping merrily around Sirius, their arms folded in a sort of Russian style. 

"Write my letter, feel much better! I'll use my fancy patter on the telephone!" Peter and James then pulled Sirius back up the hill and slid him back down so he was face to face with a mildly entertained Remus. "When I'm not with you, I think of you always I miss you -"

"I miss those long hot summer nights…" 

"When I'm not with you… Think of me always…I love you - love you…" Sirius paused, his eye's lingered on Remus's face for a moment. Sirius then jumped off, James and Peter caught his arms and pulled him back on to the small hill. 

"Hey boy where do you get it from? Hey boy where did you go?" Peter and James asked Sirius, still singing in their hoarse voices.

"I learned my passion in, the good old fashioned school of loverboys!" Sirius whipped off his robes to reveal leather trousers and a black tee-shirt. He jumped up in the air, did the splits somehow, and landed, beaming at Remus, back on the grass beside him. A musical interlude preceded, in which, James and Peter in their white robes grasped Sirius's arms and pranced around Remus grinning at him. Remus couldn't do anything apart from stare at him with an odd expression on his young face. 

"Dining at the Ritz we'll meet at nine precisely…"

"One…Two…Three…Four…Five…Six…Seven…Eight…Nine O'clock…" James and Peter started to skip around Sirius, who was bending down to Remus.

"I will pay the bill, _you_ taste the wine! Driving back in style, in my saloon will do quite nicely… Just take me back to yours that will be fine (come on and get it)." Remus gestured to go and get it, but a force kept him down. "Ooh love, ooh loverboy-"

"There it goes again! What're you doin' tonight, hey boy? " 

"Everything's all right! Just hold on tight that's because I'm a good old fashioned loverboy!" The song ended. James and Peter flanked Sirius, who was bend down in front of Remus his left arm waving merrily up behind him, and his right arm was shaking down and in front of him. Remus tried to hold in the laughter, but couldn't. He fell backwards on to the grass. 

"Er, Moony?" It was Peter, he was back in his black robes bending over Remus with suspicion. Remus let his giggles surpass before sitting up to face his friends, and Sirius. 

"Oh god… It happened again, this time the three of you!" Remus fanned himself with his hand. "Sirius was in lead, you two were backing singers… I never knew Padfoot!"

"Never knew what?" Sirius asked Remus looking at him warily. 

"That, er, you could do the splits whilst in leather trousers, quite an accomplishment!" 

"I _what?_ Did the splits? Are you sure, Prongs is the athletic one, not me…" Sirius shook his head violently, however, he was still in his leather trousers and tee-shirt. 

"But I think I know what triggers the singing!" Remus grinned. James never looked happier.

"Really? What? Then maybe Evans will forgive me!" James's eyes glazed over.

"Let's not go that far!" Sirius laughed.

"STOP!" Remus shouted, waving his hand in front of James's face. James shook his head and looked perplexed at being disturbed. "Stronge emotions trigger the singing outbursts!" This seemed to take a while to sink in to the others. 

"I was thinking about Lily… You were thinking about friendship… god knows what Padfoot was thinking about… Then Wormtail and me must have gotten involved with what Padfoot was thinking somehow…" James muttered, looking pensively at the lake. Sirius's eyes suddenly widened in realisation. 

"Shit…" He muttered, "Moony, what did I sing exactly?" Remus shook his head looking at the floor smiling grimly.

"Mmm…. Something about a Good Old Fashioned Lover-Boy." Remus whispered in Sirius's ear. 

"Shit…" Sirius swore again, he had hoped no one would find out his secret. Peter and James looked at Remus and Sirius unaware of what Remus whispered to Sirius. 

"Padfoot? Moony? What?" Peter asked. Sirius smiled at Remus and bowed to him. Remus smiled back at Sirius with raised eyebrows and tapped his foot impatiently. 

"Lets… Go back to the common room…" Sirius said thoughtfully, still smiling thoughtfully at Remus. 

"Why?" James asked, turning around. "It's fine out here-"

"I'm bored, I want to sleep."

"You sleep anywhere, you slept under the table in the Great Hall in out first year-"

"Yeah well, I was eleven… And that sofa looks inviting, not the grass."

"Right - fine…" James groaned, he glanced over at Peter who just shrugged. "When's full moon?" He added, now turning to face Remus.

"Two weeks…" Remus sighed, his eyebrows dropping. 

"Ooh good!" James rubbed his hands together and grinned at Sirius. Remus sighed heavily and rolled his eyes at James. 

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Author's Note, again

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Wee!!!! All these reviews!! You're all spoiling me! Really you are! Well, don't dawdle, review again! Thanks soooo much for them! Hugs to all of you!! 

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Disclaimer _I do not own the characters, unfortunately, and nor do I own Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy, by the ever marvellous Queen, who I appear to have an obsession with! Blame my mother… _


	4. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs

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Marauders - The Musical! 

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Author's Note - Can you see it? Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs, singing their little hearts out! Well, I imagined it, and wrote it! Enjoy! And review! This is totally review driven! Read AN at bottom for more! 

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Chapter Four - Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs

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Monday 12th May 1976

"Ah, Transfiguration!" James grinned, leaning back in his chair in the Gryffindor Common Room. "We're revising Animagus this afternoon." 

"How'd you know?" Sirius asked, looking up from his Potions homework. 

"I asked McGonagall yesterday, _wanted to be prepared_." Sirius and Remus laughed, however Peter shifted nervously in his seat. 

"Notes? I think I lost my notes…" Peter said grimly, frowning at himself. 

"Wormtail, us four should be the best in Transfiguration in Hogwarts, we just so happen to turn into animals!" James hissed. 

"You don't need notes." Sirius grunted. "We are the notes." 

"Oh, don't forget - try to control the singing." Remus said, finally looking up from a rather long letter to his parents. 

"Oh yeah…" Said James in in offhand sort of way. "I think McGonagall would do her nut if she saw us singing, again…" 

"You three were lucky not to get caught last time." Remus laughed, he shot a quick glance at Sirius saying this. 

"_You _caught us Moony." Sirius eyed him back, a mischievous smirk on his handsome face. 

"More like I caught _you_." James and Peter looked from Remus to Sirius - both of them had no idea that Remus and Sirius were both, shagging relentlessly in unused classrooms, and empty dorm rooms, sometimes even the Shrieking Shack. It was only two days since it came out, but teenage boys are awfully horny. 

"What?" James finally asked, tearing away from the playful grin on Remus's slightly pink face. 

"Just the song he sang - it was Abba." Remus lied, his smile lingering. 

"Abba? Not that Muggle band Lily likes?" 

"How Prongs, just _how _ do you know what _Muggle_ bands she likes?" Sirius asked, changing the subject. 

"I caught her saying something to that friend of hers… Ciara Taylor." 

"Oh, right… Only I swear I saw you on your broomstick flying outside near the girls' dormitories."

"_What_? I'm not that desperate!" James said in indignation, looking horrified. "Maybe you mistook me for Snivellus…"

"Ha! Likely, you don't have long greasy hair mate, you don't walk like a twitchy spider, and I doubt he could ever ride a broomstick!" Sirius snorted, shaking his head.

"Well… I think our dear old friend, Snivellus has a thing for Lily…" James muttered disapprovingly, folding his arms in abhorrence. 

"She's Muggle-Born, he wouldn't go near her with a ten foot long broomstick!" Peter's eyes widened, and he made arm gestures to resemble a broomstick.

"He's got a point." Remus added, finishing his letter with a curly signature. 

"No, no I reckon I'm on to him! Why else would he put this bloody spell on us? To make Lily think we're a bunch of berks."

"Prongs, she already thinks we're a bunch of berks!" Sirius laughed, his hair jumping around wildly about his face. 

"And we have been tormenting him for the past six years." Peter said fairly, but James shook his head. 

"I know it… He's doing it to try and impress her…" James scrunched up a piece of parchment he was holding. 

"You're obsessed Prongs, has anyone ever told you that?" Remus said smiling, sucking on the tip of his sugar quill. 

*

Professor McGonagall's voice cracked like a whip through the Transfiguration classroom later that day. She appeared to have lost patience in the Marauders, who were sitting back in their seats casually pretending to listen to everything she was saying about Animagus. 

"The Animagus transformation is immensely difficult, and should only be attempted by highly skilled qualified wizards. Potter are you paying attention?" McGonagall whipped around, her burgundy robes whipping about her legs. "Potter! Black! Lupin! Pettigrew!" She shrieked, she stormed over to them, and looking down her nose sternly at them. 

Remus sat up abruptly, he would be in risk of loosing his badge if he got into any more trouble. 

"Sorry Professor, I feel a bit peaky, that's all." Remus muttered, fanning himself with his quill. 

"Well," McGonagall said, her head tilting slightly. "You _do_ look a bit pale. Are you well enough to continue with the lesson?"

"What? Oh yes. Of course Professor." Remus said, his body filling with relief. 

"And, what's your excuse?" She asked James. James opened his mouth, but it was apparently dry. 

"I come home, in the morning light!" James squeaked, beaming at McGonagall. McGonagall didn't appear to take him what James said, and bent down towards him. "My mother says when you gonna live your life right!" He was singing… again… "Oh mother dear we're not the fortunate ones!" 

"And guys they want to have fun! Oh guys just want to have fun" Remus, Sirius and Peter joined in with James, and were singing along too.   
"The phone rings in the middle of the night, my father yells what you gonna do with your life?" Sirius sung, his voice had magnified to twice its normal volume, and was squeaker then James's voice. "Oh daddy dear you know you're still pure-blood scum!" McGonagall stepped back from the boys, horror in her wrinkly eyes. 

"But guys they want to have fun! Oh guys just want to have! That's all they really want! Some fun!" The rest of the class were staring at the Marauders, some deeply, amused, some ridden with anger, like Lily Evans, however her friend Ciara was doubled over in silent giggles. In fact, Lily was the only one not laughing, or not trying to hide their giggles. "When the working day is done, guys - they want to have fun! Oh guys just want to have fun!" They all squealed, now standing on their chairs, their faces glowing with apparent delight. A musical interlude followed, causing the Marauders to conga around the classroom

"Some boys, take a handsome guy, and hide him away from the rest of the world! I want to be the one to walk in the sun! Oh guys, they want to have fun!" Remus hollered, grinning at Sirius, who looked positively mad. 

"Oh guys just want to have-" The Marauders sang in unison, now letting Peter take the centre stage. 

"That's all they really want! Some fun! When the working day is done! Oooh  
guys - they want to have fun!" Peter sang, not looking as impressive as the other three. The four of them, now stood on McGonagall's desk, ready to sing the chorus one more time.

"Oh guys just want to have fun! They want to have fun! They want to have fun! Guys just wanna have fun! When the working day is done! When the working day is _done_! They just wanna! They just wanna! Oh guys! Oh guys! They just wanna have fun!" James, Sirius, Peter and Remus waved their right hands manically in front of the class, and curtseyed. 

"THIS IS A DISGRACE! YOU FOUR! MY OFFICE NOW!" McGonagall screamed, she had come to her senses, but seemingly, Sirius, James, Remus and Peter hadn't come to _their _senses, as they were holding on to the last high-pitched note for dear life. "THIS IS A CLASSROOM! NOT A MUGGLE SINGING VENUE!" Her face had turned a pungent red, and clashed oddly with her burgundy robes. "I SAID, IN MY OFFICE _NOW_!" Lily was shaking her dark red hair at the boys, looking at James intently, her green eyes reduced to narrow slits. 

Remus slumped off the desk, his eyes unfocused. He was soon followed by Sirius, James and Peter - they too, looked baffled and vacant. 

"Why are we _here_?" James asked Sirius, scratching his head, not daring to look around at the staring faces. 

"I think Prongs… I think we did it again…" Remus gulped, brushing golden locks out of his amber blue eyes. Sirius, however turned to McGonagall, who was shaking with fury. 

"Professor? We sung didn't we?" 

"Yes. Yes you did Black! All four of you!" McGonagall's face was as red as James's Quidditch robes. 

"We have no control over it! We already told you!"

"And what causes this?" She said, rounding on Remus. 

"I-I think, a strong surge of emotion…" 

"Has this happened any other time besides the two incidents in the Great Hall? Or is this the first time we've heard Black and Pettigrew's _dulcet_ tones?" 

"No, I mean, on Saturday, Padf - I mean Sirius, James and Peter started singing to me…" Remus said uncertainly, he had stuffed his hands into his pockets as they were visibly sweating. "But no one saw, apart from maybe insects in the grass." Professor McGonagall tilted her head again and was looking at the Marauders incredulously as if seeing them in a whole new light. **  
**"Well, I have no option to put you all in detention. I will however, get to the bottom of this. I don't think you enjoy bursting out into song." McGonagall dusted her hands, she beckoned the boys to take their seats again. 

"I rather enjoyed _you _singing." Remus muttered to Sirius as they sat down. Sirius couldn't help but beam at Remus. 

James caught Lily's eye as they sat down. Her expression was hard to tell - was she trying to suppress jolts of laughter, or did she find it amusing that they'd all received detention? 

****

Author's Note - _OH MY GOD! I never expected all these reviews! I love you all! And Emily, and Ciara, if you're reading, which you are… As I've probably just sent this to you… See! I did it! You can stop pestering me now! _

So, please, review everyone else! It's making my summer! Seriously! Ice-lollies and cold things to everyone! 


	5. James Again

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Marauders - The Musical! 

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Author's Note - Can you see it? Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs, singing their little hearts out! Well, I imagined it, and wrote it! Enjoy! And review! This is totally review driven! Read AN at bottom for more! A bit of swearing in this! 

****

Chapter Five - James, again

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Saturday 17th May 1976 

"OI! Prongs! Wake up!" Sirius yelled, throwing a pillow at the tousle haired boy. 

__

"Wha'?" James murmured rubbing his eyes, sitting up in his bed. 

__

"There's a small matter of a Quidditch final Mr Potter." Remus said, yawning himself. "Against _Slytherin_. You couldn't have forgotten could you?"

"It's Saturday? I thought it was Friday! Are you sure? You're not having me on are you?" 

"No, I'm serious." Remus said sombrely, tugging James out of bed.

"No _I'm_ Sirius." Sirius said sternly to Remus, a grin floating on to his sleepy face. 

"Shut up Padfoot…" James grumbled. "Where are my glasses?"

"Beside you." Peter said, walking over and picking them up from James's beside table. 

"Oh right, cheers." James slipped his glasses on, and blinked furiously, taking in the dormitory and its occupants. 

"Woah, Wormtail, your acne is flaring up again!" 

"_Cheers…_" Peter grumbled, walking over to his bed, his arms folded. "Emily Pugh that vivacious Ravenclaw will never notice me now." Peter ruffled his mousy hair in the mirror and sighed heavily. "Where'd Prongs go?" The three boys turned around, and noticed James wasn't in the same room as them anymore. 

"PRONGS! Oh he hasn't gone after Lily again has he?" Sirius sighed, slipping his jeans on. "JAMES!" Sirius rolled his eyes and pulled on a tight white tee-shirt. Remus raised his eyebrow approvingly so only Sirius could see. Sirius immediately smiled back, and shook his mane of ebony hair. 

"Maybe he's in the shower…" Peter muttered, strolling over to he bathroom door. "JAMES YOU IN THERE?" He shouted, opening it slightly. 

"What? Yeah, I am!" James shouted back, his voice echoing around the bathroom .

"You better hurry up! You need to be on the pitch in half an hour!" Peter closed the bathroom door and shrugged at Remus and Sirius. "Mad he is… Mad…" 

*

James eventually made it into the Great Hall ten minutes later, his hair still wet, he had his Nimbus 1000 over his shoulder jauntily, his Quidditch robes had been put on hastily and were slightly crooked. 

"You'll be fine." Remus said, patting the Quidditch Captain on the arm. 

"Yeah, those Slytherins aint got a chance Prongs!" Sirius grinned, chewing on a piece of cold toast. Peter nodded in agreement and beamed up at James in awe. 

"Yeah, course I will be…" James muttered, Lily was sitting opposite him, apparently ignoring him. "If Gryffindor wins, I bet she'll go out with me!"

"I wouldn't count on it Prongs." Sirius laughed, swallowing some more toast. "I get the feeling she hates your guts." 

"Well… We'll see…" James checked the time on his watch. "It's time." He stood up, and the rest of the Gryffindor Quidditch team followed suit. 

"GRYFFINDOR FOR THE CUP!" Sirius yelled, banging his fists on the table. The Gryffindors shouted and yelled, even Lily and her friend Ciara were screaming, all dignity lost. James looked across the hall, and gave Snape a fleeting look - he looked disgusted. 

*

As Sirius was commentating the match, Remus and Peter found seats at the top of the Quidditch stand, waving a banner "COME ON PRONGS!".

Meanwhile, James shook hands (rather brutally with the Slytherin Captain, Augustus Rookwood) and turned to mount his broom. "Three… Two… One!" Madam Hooch shouted, she blew her whistle, and both teams soared into the air. 

"It's Gryffindor in possession! Bertie Green for Gryffindor with the Quaffle, heading straight for the Slytherin goalposts! Come on Bertie! YES! BERTIE GREEN SCORES FOR GRYFFINDOR! TEN-ZERO TO GRYFFINDOR!" Sirius screamed, jumping up and down in his seat, the magical megaphone nearly falling out of his hands. Professor McGonagall was looking at Sirius warily, hoping he wouldn't break out into song.

Bertie Green did a lap of honour, his wispy blonde hair billowing out behind him. Then a Bludger, hit by the rather large Quinn Seymour nearly threw him off his broomstick - he only managed to hold on. "Right, Slytherin chaser Timothy Jagger with the Quaffle, heading for the Gryffindor goalposts. VERA SAVE IT! SAVE IT! DAMN! Timothy Jagger scores for Slytherin…" There was a collective groan around the Quidditch stands, and a booming cheer from the Slytherins. "It's ten all! Oh! Ungardo Tarantino, Gryffindor chaser with the Quaffle! Come on Ungardo! Score! AND HE SCORES! TWENTY-TEN TO GRYFFINDOR! Wait! Oh no! Louis Jones for Slytherin with the Quaffle! Whack him Abe Spencer! YES! Jones knocked off course by Spencer's Bludger! Oh no! Rookwood with the Quaffle! He is heading towards the Gryffindor goal! AND KEEPER VERA WILLIAMS SAVES!" McGonagall was jumping up and down in excitement, clapping her hands together in delight. 

"We're going to _win _Peter!" Remus said, looking up at the match, his face swimming in glee.

"Opal Reeves for Gryffindor with the Quaffle… Towards the Slytherin end - and I don't believe it! SHE'S SCORED! CAREFUL OPAL! BLUDGER! Oh shit…"

"BLACK! No swearing!" McGonagall screeched, as she watched Opal slip off the end of her broom and holding on for dear life. Gryffindor beaters Abe Spencer and Edgar Wicket flew over to help her back on, and stuck their fingers up at the Slytherin beaters Quinn Seymour and Geoff Vine. 

"Thought you said 'no singing' there for a moment Professor!" Sirius chucked. "Anyway! Louis Jones back with the Quaffle, oh no! Don't score! He scores… Thirty-Twenty to Gryffindor! Come on Prongs I mean James find that Snitch!" Sirius looked out and saw the Marauders' banner shining with pride opposite him. "Tarantino with the Quaffle! Come on man! SCORE! YES YES! HE SCORED! FORTY -TWENTY TO GRYFFINDOR!" Sirius's voice was starting to get croaky, several months of commentating caused it to go hoarse on occasions. "Paul Hadley of Slytherin has gone into a dive! PRONGS ARE YOU WATCHING?!" Sirius screamed in a panicked voice, Hadley _couldn't_ find the Snitch now… 

James noticed Paul Hadley the Slytherin seeker dived - he was going faster then James. With a grunt of desperation, James thought he was feinting - there was no sparkle of gold on the ground. But James couldn't risk it, he urged his broom to move faster, to try and block Hadley - He did, but Hadley, being the slow Slytherin Hadley was, didn't pull upwards in time and crashed into James. 

"OH SHIT! JAMES POTTER AND PAUL HADLEY CRASH! SOMEONE SEE IF THEY'RE ALRIGHT!" Sirius yelled, standing up looking frantic, he glanced over to Remus and Peter who looked worried and were peering over the heads of the people in front of him. Both James and Hadley were still on the ground, their brooms underneath them. Madame Hooch rushed over to them and splashed water on their faces. 

"_Enervate_!" She yelled, pointing her wands at them. They blinked their eyes open, James rubbed his eyes sleepily, and it took him a few moments to register that he was on the ground, rather then in the air. "Alright you two?" They both nodded, and mounted their brooms. "Save Feinting to the professionals Hadley!" 

"JAMES POTTER AND HADLEY APPEAR TO BE FINE!" Sirius yelled, a sigh of relief blowing over him. "Right! On with the game! Jones with the Quaffle! Heading towards the Gryffindor goal! Oh god! The pesky Slytherins are doing a Hawkshead Attacking Formation! Spencer and Wicket get them off their brooms! Jones passes to Jagger! Jagger passes to Rookwood! Rookwood scores! Wait no he doesn't! My eyes deceive me! Williams saves! FIFTY-TWENTY TO GRYFFINDOR!" 

Then he saw it. Just by Spencer's right foot was the glittering Snitch. James dived for it, dodging Bludgers hit by Vine and Seymour. Hadley was now catching up with James, but James grabbed it first. He felt the little wings patter against his sweaty palm.

"YES! JAMES POTTER! MY BEST MATE GOT THE SNITCH! WE WIN! WE WON!" Sirius screamed, watching a blaze of red and gold shimmer against the blue of the sky and the green of the forest. "GRYFFINDOR WIN TWO-HUNDRED TO TWENTY!" McGonagall was beyond tears, she actually grabbed Sirius much to his dismay and hugged him. Sirius dropped the megaphone in shock, but managed to wrangle free of McGonagall, and made his way down to the pitch. Screaming with sheer happiness. 

James was beside himself, being hugged and kissed by the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Remus and Peter were draping their banner around James's shoulders. 

"I've paid my dues - Time after time!" James sung merrily, breaking free of Opal Reeves's hug. "I've done my sentence, but committed no crime! And bad mistakes I've made a few. I've had my share of sand kicked in my face! But I've come through!" James paused, and jumped up and down on the sand. "_We_ are the _champions_ - my friends! And we'll keep on fighting till the end!" James ran forwards to hug Sirius, his singing and grinning never ceasing to end. "We are the _champions_! We are the _champions_!" He let go of Sirius and ran to the downhearted (that was an understatement - they were well and truly pissed off!) "No time for _losers_! 'Cause we are the champions! _OF THE WORLD_!" James held on to that note, holding the his Marauder banner, taunting the Slytherins.

He now turned to the Gryffindor end of the pitch, where Remus, Sirius and Peter were hugging each other side by side, in shock at James's outburst of song. "I've taken my bows." He bowed. "And my curtain calls, you brought me fame and fortune and everything that goes with it! I thank you all!" James sang to his friends. He now ran forwards, running past the Marauders - looking for Lily… "But it's been no bed of roses… _No_ pleasure cruise…" He found her, she was grinning due to the win, but then saw James, and her grin faltered, she gripped Ciara's shoulder. "I consider it a _challenge_ before the whole human race! And I ain't gonna _lose_!" He beamed at her, his face was pleading with her to go out with him. 

"I'm not going out with you." Lily said, frowning at James. "Go away now." James turned around, and was lifted into the air by Gryffindors. 

"_We_ are the champions - _my friends_! And we'll keep on _fighting_, till the end! _We _are the champions! _We _are the champions! _No time for losers _'cause _we_ are the champions! **_OF THE WORLD_**!" The Gryffindors yelled and screamed. James was carried off to the other end of the Quidditch pitch, towards the castle, the Marauders cheering in his wake. "_WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS! WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS_ ! NO TIME FOR LOSERS! CAUSE _WE ARE _THE CHAMPIONS!" He stopped, and sighed happily. 

"YOU SANG AGAIN PRONGS!" Sirius shouted, though rather gruffly. 

"What?! I didn't did I? Well if it was Snivellus who has enchanted us, then fuck him! WE WON THE CUP PADFOOT!" James was so elated, the Marauders were surprised he didn't break out into song again. 

"We'll be in the kitchens mate!" Sirius bounced up and down with Remus.

"We'll get some Firewhisky if we can wangle it!" Remus laughed, and with that James was carried away into the castle. 

**__**

Author's Note - We Are The Champions belongs to Queen (again!) I forgot a disclaimer for the last chapter. Girls (or guys hehe) Just Want to Have Fun belongs to Cyndi Lauper! 

To the person that said I should use popular songs (can't remember your name as I'm typing this offline…) - I am using popular songs! I've never met anyone who doesn't know a Queen song! And everyone knows Girls Just Want To Have Fun! I'm not using Britney or Avril (I can't stand them…)That'd involve listening to one of their songs, to write the fic, which I'm **not **_doing… Thanks for the review anyway!_

That goes for everyone else too! THANK YOU SOO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS! And look Emily! You're mentioned! But you're in Paris right now… 

Well, I'm de sticking myself from my chair to try and hug you all!! Rah!! Carry on reviewing! It really is just lovely to read them!


	6. Moony and Padfoot

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Marauders - The Musical! 

__

Author's Note - Can you see it? Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs, singing their little hearts out! Well, I imagined it, and wrote it! Enjoy! And review! This is totally review driven! Read AN at bottom for more! A bit more slash, and Emily gave me the idea so yay to Emily! So if you're going to complain about the slash in here, tell it to her! Haha, I'm only joking… or am I?

****

Chapter Five - Moony and Padfoot

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Sunday 18th May 1976 

Nothing could exactly stop James from the elation of winning the Quidditch Cup, but Lily was still refusing him. The boys reckoned James asked Lily out, about seventy times from Saturday evening to Sunday morning - it beat the previous record held by Arthur Weasley several years ago, who asked his now wife, Molly, out sixty-seven times before he fell asleep. At least she had the decency to say yes. It something of legend at Hogwarts, and it seemed Lily would _never _give in. 

However, James being occupied with asking Lily out, and with the glee in winning the Quidditch Cup (Peter was busy trying to seduce Ravenclaw Emily Pugh, so he was hanging around her group of friends by the lake) it left Remus and Sirius to their own devices. Or to their own hormones. 

"No one will be in the dormitory." Sirius whispered innocently to Remus as they watched James stare sappily at Lily whilst the Snitch buzzed around his head.

"Peter is trying to seduce that Ravenclaw girl, and James appears to be in a trance. And we're here…" Remus trailed off and smiled wryly at Sirius.

"Defiantly empty then." 

"I've lost my Transfiguration text book Padfoot!" Remus exclaimed, pretending to have lost his book.

"McGonagall will have you for that. Better help you look for it Moony!" Sirius said in tones of mock concern. James acknowledged them leaving the common room, and continued to stare avidly at Lily. 

Sirius and Remus virtually ran to their dormitory, their hormones racing at the speed of light. "I've waited to long." Remus groaned, pulling Sirius closer to him. Their noses were touching, each touch sent arousing sensations throughout both Remus and Sirius's bodies. 

"Tonight I'm gonna have myself a real good time." Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus and kissed him softly on the lips.

"I feel alive and the world turning inside out…" Remus gasped, his eyes closing, and savouring Sirius's kiss. Remus lent forwards and kissed Sirius intently, their tongues engaging in an erotic dance. "And floating around in ecstasy." Remus sang, finally pulling away and rubbing Sirius's nose with his. But then the door burst open, and James looked at his two best friends wrapped in each other's arms, embracing each other in a way that told James - that's not what friends do… Remus and Sirius broke apart straight away and looked at James in momentary shock. James was stuck on the spot, he didn't know what to say or do. But was looking at them, waiting for an explanation. Sirius opened his mouth, expecting words to come. 

"Don't stop me now! Don't stop me now! don't stop me 'cause I'm having a good time having a good time!" Yes, he was indeed, singing again. A hasty, wild grin spread across Sirius face, and he was unexpectedly wearing a vintage black leather jacket. He jumped on to the nearest bed (Peter's). "I'm a shooting star leaping through the sky! Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity!" He jumped on to the next bed in sheer class, his grin not fading. "I'm a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva! I'm gonna go go go! There's no stopping me!" He twirled around to look at James. "I'm burning through the sky yeah! Two hundred degrees!" He held up two fingers. "That's why they call me mister Fahrenheit! I'm trav'ling at the speed of light!" He jumped up into the air, and landed, not so elegantly, his knees bend in front of an amused Remus, who was humming along quite serenely. "I wanna make a supersonic man out of _you_!" He pointed at Remus, who looked positively delighted at this! Sirius danced over to James, who was still standing, frozen, by the door. 

"Don't stop me now! I'm having such a good time! I'm having a ball! Don't stop me now!" He took a deep breath, and continued. "If you wanna have a good time just give me an owl!" He winked at James, who still despite finding his friend in compromising positions, and now watching Sirius sing, still could not move. "Don't stop me now 'cause I'm havin' a good time!

Don't stop me now! Yes I'm havin' a good time! I _don't_ want to stop at _all_!" He whizzed around and signalled at Remus. Remus jumped on to James's bed which was beside Peters, and started to bellow, taking in a deep breath first. 

"I'm a rocket ship on my way to mars! On a collision course! I am a satellite I'm out of control!" He directed his arms to the ceiling and pointed at it. He then turned to Sirius who was sitting on the end on Peter's bed. "I am a sex machine ready to reload!" He started to thrust his pelvis at Sirius suggestively, Sirius grinned once again quite satisfied at the offer Remus was making. "Like an atom bomb about to - Oh oh oh oh oh _explode_!" Remus jumped into the air, and did a star jump, landing on the floor in front of Sirius, where he was still sitting. 

"I'm burning through the sky _yeah_! Two hundred degrees! That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit!" Remus now enacted Grease Lighting style moves, kneeling on the floor in front of Sirius, waving his arms from side to side frantically. "I'm trav'ling at the speed of light!

I wanna make a supersonic man of you!" Remus pointed at Sirius, and then stood up, turning to face James, who was whiter then Remus on the day approaching full moon.

"Don't stop me! Don't stop me! Don't stop me! _Hey hey hey! _Don't stop me! Don't stop me ooh ooh ooh!" Remus sang, grinning at James. 

"I like it!" Sirius cried to the heavens, now striding over to Remus. 

"Don't stop me! Don't stop me!" 

"Have a good time, good time!" Sirius thrust his hips at Remus, and Remus copied. 

"Don't stop me! Don't stop me ooooh-ahhhh!" An electric guitar interlude followed. Remus and Sirius paid respects to this by jumping on the furthest bed (being Remus's) and doing the air guitar, with all the energy they could muster. 

"We're burning through the sky yeah!" They held hands and jumped to the floor and ran towards James. "Two hundred degrees! That's why they call us Misters Fahrenheit! We're trav'ling at the speed of light" They both knelt down together, and pointed at each other. "I wanna make a supersonic man out of you!" They embraced fleetingly, before jumping up and skipping over to James (who was now so white, the snow had taken note of his pigment and were planning on using it this Christmas).

"Don't stop me now! I'm having such a good time!" Sirius sang, inches away from James.

"I'm having a ball! Don't stop me now!" Remus pointed to himself and gave James his celebrated puppy dog eyes. "If you wanna have a good time just give us an owl!"

"Don't stop me now 'cause I'm havin' a good time! Don't stop me now! _Yes ! _I'm havin' a good time!"

"We don't want to stop at all!" The ended the song together, arms around one another's shoulders, looking gleefully at where an audience should be, but where James was standing gob smacked. 

"Prongs mate, it's not what you think." Sirius said, letting go of Remus, his voice now starting to hurt with the pain of commentating and singing. 

"Well, it is what you think, if you're thinking what we're doing…" Remus muttered, collapsing on Peter's bed. James opened his mouth, but was beyond shock. He was now turning a slight shade of minty green. 

"What _are _you thinking?" Sirius said slowly to James, hoping he wouldn't loose his friendship. 

"What am I thinking? WHAT AM I THINKING?" James appeared to have come out of his reverie, and his face was now a deep red. He went over to Sirius, looking at him threateningly. "I came up here because Lily left, and I was sure I saw your Transfiguration book by the window sill! But you two seem to be looking down each other's throats for it!" 

"James, if you'd just listen-" Remus said, tentatively, hoping not to get shouted at.

"_Listen_? You want me to _listen_. No, you two listen! Why didn't you tell me?"

"We knew you'd react like this!" Sirius shouted, feeling his temper go. "We knew you'd think it funny!" 

"No mate, I'm not homophobic. I don't like secrets kept from me. You should know that Moony." James through Remus a dark look, Remus shook his head.

"So, you have nothing against us?" Remus asked, looking at James incredulously .

"No, why should I? It was obvious that you both fancied each other. I was wondering when you'd get it on actually…"

"What?" They asked in unison.

"So when did it happen?"

"Last Saturday actually… When Sirius broke out into song - proclaiming his undying love for me see." Remus laughed.

"Ah I see, you just sang now by the way." 

"What? Again… Both of us?" Sirius asked, looking at Remus quite bewildered. James nodded, suppressing giggles. 

"Very entertaining, you two really do fancy the arses off each other." 

**__**

Author's Note- I wrote it, despite the trouble and strife in my life (i.e. impending exam results…) I somehow managed to get hyper… (It took the combined efforts of the cast of Sex and the City, the cast of Will and Grace, Patrick Keilty, Jack Osborne, and Ron Atkinson, a chocolate Vienetta, The Coral, The Thrills, and the lead singer of All American Rejects, who in my opinion looks like a younger Sirius, and those eyes…. Watching the video to Swing Swing right now… He's seducing me with his eyes… But I got hyper! And wrote! And thank you for your reviews!

Laura, I think you're the most random reviewer I've ever had… and if you thought Chapter Three was disgusting (oh his eyes…) then you'll probably be puking an a bucket right now. (those damn blue eyes!) 

Oh, another thing, besides thanking you lot for your reviews! Please wish me luck - I'm getting my GCSE (Muggle equivalent of OWLS to all you non Brits) results on Thursday, and I am shitting myself. So if there is no update after this, it's because Ciara has assisted me in suicide, by pushing me off Tower Bridge, as I would have failed my GCSES and would have no future. But hopefully I will update again, but getting hyper (but don't expect anything until after Thursday, no Sex and the City until then…) Right this is the longest A/N in the history of ff.net isn't it? Yes…. It is…

THANK YOU FOR YOUR REVIEWS! WOO! And review again, please! If I fail, reviews may just cheer me up! AND PRAISE TYSON OF THE ALL AMERICAN REJECTS! Yes… anyway… Oh nearly forgot! Don't Stop Me Now belongs to Queen. Yes I know… But all the Queen songs I use are from their Greatest Hits album! And their so good, and Queen were around in the late seventies… 


	7. A Certain GreenEyed Girl

****

Marauders - The Musical! 

__

Author's Note - Can you see it? Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs, singing their little hearts out! Well, I imagined it, and wrote it! Enjoy! And review! This is totally review driven! Read AN at bottom for more! 

****

Chapter Seven- A certain Green-Eyed Girl

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Tuesday 20th May 1976 

The common room was quite full after dinner on Tuesday night, and everyone was feeling quite merry, well, what the Gryffindors didn't know was that Sirius had spiked everyone's drinks with Ogden's Firewhiskey and Vladimir's Vodka whilst James played with the Snitch and everyone watched in awe.

Remus was slouched on the settee by the fire, his eyes drooping and a sheepish grin on his face. Every so often he would giggle lightly and scratch his nose absent-mindedly. Peter was sitting upside down on an armchair next to Remus, his head lolling off the seat, and his legs crossed up the back. Peter kept on pointing at flies that had come in through the window with his wand and was setting them alight. James was utterly pissed. He had Quidditch practice before dinner so was extremely thirsty, and drank several goblets of pumpkin juice in mere seconds. He was standing on the table in the centre of the common room singing God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs without any form of bewitchment, and utterly out of tune. Even Lily Evans and her friend Ciara Taylor were drunk. Ciara was doing an Irish jig on the steps of the girl's staircase, and Lily was sitting on the window ledge, her head resting on her arm as it stretched out on the perimeter of the window, and she was singing a lullaby to herself, staring at James vaguely. 

The only person not drunk was Sirius. He was leaning on the wall by the fireplace, laughing at the drunk Gryffindors. He wanted to take advantage of Remus being drunk, but Remus was starting to fall asleep… So he turned his head to James singing Christmas songs on the big table. James had now donned a peach neck scarf and was dancing with it looking very odd indeed. "Look at me! I'm just fabulous! I'm fabulous aren't I Padfoot?" Giggled James weakly, doing a twirl on the table. 

"Oh yes. _Fabulous!_" Sirius shouted sarcastically in a mock upper English accent, far different from his London brogue. 

"Lily! Aren't I just fabulous? Padfoot thinks so!" James laughed, he twirled again to face Lily. Lily came out of her reverie and raised her eyebrows at James. 

"No, you're a conceited, arrogant little brat! You're so vain…" She grunted, rolling her eyes at him, folding her arms, even when drunk, she still loathed James Potter. James now raised his eyebrows and adjusted his hat imperiously. 

"But Sirius said I was fabulous! He agreed with me, surely that counts as something!" James pleaded and stopped swirling around on the table. 

"You walked into the party, like you were walking onto a yacht, your hat strategically dipped below one eye." She was singing. Lily Evans was singing. Lily Evans was _singing_. People stopped what they were doing, even Remus was prodded awake. "Your scarf it was apricot! You had one eye on the mirror as you watched yourself gavotte!" She jumped down from the window and over to James, who was still standing on the table, but now with a vacant expression. "And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner!" She sang it, as if the mere thought of dating James Potter would possibly be the most disgusting thing a girl could do. "They'd be your partner, and... You're so vain! you probably think this song is about _you_! You're so vain!" Lily rounded on James, circling the circular table, her eyes reduced to narrow slits. 

"Remus… Remus wake up!" Sirius whispered, poking Remus in the face.

"I'll bet you think this song is about you! Don't you? don't you?"

"But it is…" James retorted, looking horrified at Lily. 

"You had me several years ago, when I was still quite naïve. Well you said that we made such a pretty pair, and that you would never leave!" James stepped back, true, in their first year he attempted to kiss Lily after telling her for the first time that she was, indeed, wonderful. "But you gave away the things you loved and one of them was me…" 

"I can explain that!" 

"I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee, clouds in my coffee, and... You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you? You're so vain! I'll bet you think this song is about you, don't you? Don't you?" She wailed, her red hair crackling with madness. She did a dramatic whirl and then jumped onto the table with James, eyeing James with utter hate. There was a musical intermission, giving Lily a chance to do this to the wholly traumatized James. 

"Why is Lily singing? I thought it was only us who sang?" Peter asked Remus and Sirius, he was still upside down, and watching Lily with his tongue lolling out. Remus and Sirius both shrugged, and dazed at Lily vacantly. 

"I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee! Clouds in my coffee, and... You're so _vain_! You probably think this song is about you! You're so _vain_! I'll bet you think this song is about you, don't you? Don't you?" There was no denying she had a great voice, in fact, her great voice probably didn't help James, he appeared to be melting into the wooden table, her milky vocals sending him into a strange trance. "Well I hear you went up to the Shetlands and your horse, naturally won! Then you flew your broomstick down to Gloucester! To see the total eclipse of the sun!"

"No… I didn't… Wasn't the eclipse in Yorkshire? Since when do they race horses in the Shetland Isles?" Lily ignored James's comments. 

"Well you're where you should be all the time! And when you're not you're with, some underworld spy, or the wife of a close friend wife of a close friend, and…"

"Wait a second, you're really wrong there, none of my mates are married!" She again, ignored him, and continued to belt out her song. 

"You're so _vain_! You probably think this song is about you! You're so vain! I'll bet you think this song is about you don't you? _Don't you_?" She threw James one last look, and jumped off the table, but she tripped over her own robes in her drunk state. Everyone apart from James laughed at her, James in fact, jumped down to help her up, to try and prove he was not vain in any form or manner.

"You alright Lily?" He asked, grabbing her hand and dragging her on to her feet. 

"What?" She spat, jumping backwards and away from James. "Of course I am!" She looked around and saw Gryffindors suppressing giggles. "I don't need _you_ to help me up!" 

"But you fell over! I was being considerate!" James shook his head violently at Lily, he really didn't understand women… Lily snorted and went to walk off. "But you just sang!" She stopped dead in her tracks and turned around to look at James. 

"_What_?" She hissed impatiently, glaring at James. 

"You sang; a song!"

"No I didn't, you're just trying to stir me up! It's common knowledge _you _four do _that_ kind of entertainment here at Hogwarts!" 

"Ask anyone here! Go on, they will tell you that you sang!" She looked nervously at James, and then around to the milling drunk crowd. Some nodded, giggling profusely, some shouted "YES!" and others were so drunk they just howled. 

"I don't believe it… I feel a bit tipsy… But that's it, you're all seeing things… Why am I feeling tipsy?…" 

"Oh, that was me." Sirius laughed, coming over to the argument, leaving Remus on the settee falling asleep. 

"_What?_" Lily looked simply furious, she was sobering up after her singing outburst. 

"I should go…" He looked nervously around the common room. 

"No, you're staying right here! You're not drunk! Was I singing or not?"

"You were singing." Lily whipped out her wand, and Sirius eyed it nervously. 

"TELL ME THE TRUTH!" 

"HE IS EVANS! Feed us Vertiserum, I'm sure you can get some from your _darling _Snivellus!" James screamed, coming to his senses a bit more. 

"_Darling _Snivellus…? Don't be disgusting Potter - We all know we'd catch something off him if we went anywhere near him!" James laughed at this remark, Lily's mouth twitched slightly as if to laugh, but thought better of it. Sirius stood between Lily and James, and smiled to himself. Peter was turning green upside down, and Remus had woken up and was crawling over to the arguing trio. 

"You're right." James laughed. "But not about the vain thing! I don't even own a mirror!"

"Er, yes you do…" Sirius laughed remembering his and James's two way mirror. 

"Not counting _that _one… Oh you know what I mean!" James shouted impatiently, flapping his arms at his sides. Lily rolled her eyes at both of the boys and turned on her heel to leave the common room for her dormitory. 

"Hey! Hey!" Sirius ran up to her, stopping her as she reached the bottom of the staircase. Lily gave him a dirty look, and folded her arms. 

"What now? If I'm going to have a hangover tomorrow, I want enough sleep." Lily groaned, rolling here eyes once again. 

"Did you feel a strong, er surge of emotion, like hate for James, before you sang?"

"Um, I did actually… Why?" 

**__**

Author's Note - *Looks at reviews in glee* It's not Queen! It's some woman called Carly Simon… I think she's from the Eighties, not sure, all I know is that I heard this song, at Ciara's house when her sister was doing some strange moves… And thus, wrote! Sorry for the lack of update, I did worse then predicted at GCSE and sank into a wallow of dire self-pity… But I picked myself up through glasses of wine and your reviews!

Hint hint! REVIEW AGAIN! 

Coming soon…. Remus sings again after he is bewitched in another strange manner, this time by Sirius accidentally! 

We go into their final seventh year, to 1977 when John Travolta was the best thing since sliced bread and disco dancing was the _thing! _

All this week, and all inspired whilst being stuck on a damn bus in a bloody traffic jam whilst the electrical power in London ceased to exist… 

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REVIEW! PLEASE!


	8. Him, Again

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Marauders - The Musical! 

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Author's Note - Can you see it? Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs, singing their little hearts out! Well, I imagined it, and wrote it! Enjoy! And review! This is totally review driven! Read AN at bottom for more! 

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Chapter Eight - Him again. Yes that helps doesn't it! 

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James's family home, Hastings, south coast, East (or was it West, I cant remember…) Sussex, England, UK, Europe, the world, the Universe, we think… or at least, that's what we've been told! We could all be the complicated structure of a very bored and rich person's mega doll house! And we've been magicked to come alive, and think for ourselves and build empires and things…

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Thursday 21st June 1976

"I hate the summer." James grumbled, sitting on his bed, staring at the ceiling glumly. "No Lily. No Lily at all." James picked up a shell from his bed and threw it at the ceiling in anger.

"You've got us mate!" Sirius laughed, getting up from his chair and sitting down on the end of James's bed. 

"You're hardly Lily are you?" James pulled a pillow from under his head and covered his face with it. "I think I love her!" 

"You always think you love her."

"You don't understand." Remus glanced at Sirius, raising an eyebrow. 

"I hope _he _does." Remus muttered, going back to his book. 

"He does." Sirius replied, pointing to himself. 

"Good!" Remus smiled, putting his book down a little bit so he and Sirius could meet eyes. 

"Oh whatever… Wormtail will be back from the loo in a minute, owing to the fact he's figured out how to flush it - you better keep your animal tendencies down." James whispered, his tone bored and monotonous.

"You need somebody to love." Sirius said, standing up and looking thoughtfully out of James's bedroom window. 

"Like I didn't know _that _already." The door clicked, and Peter came in looking flushed himself. 

"Have fun did we?" Remus asked, peering over his book for a second. 

"In a way…" Peter answered, twiddling his fingers and edging over to a stool by the fireplace opposite to James. James pulled the pillow off his head and looked at Peter sharply.

"You haven't flooded the damn bathroom have you? All you had to do was push down the silver lever!" James gasped, his eyes darting around the room in shock.

"No, no - calm down Prongs! I haven't flooded the bathroom. I just got my foot stuck in the cistern." James didn't bother asking why or how, he just covered his face with the pillow while Remus and Sirius exchanged furtive glances. 

"Can anybody, find me, somebody to love?" James asked, sitting up and taking the pillow off and looking aimlessly around his bedroom. But before anyone could answer, he opened his mouth and emitted a familiar hum. "Each morning I get up I die a little. Can barely stand on my feet." He sung, still in his bored voice. He looked mournfully at the floorboards and placed his feet on them, and looked forlornly around the room. 

"Not _again_. That boy is desperate…" Sirius said, folding his arms and lounging back in his chair ready for a performance. James turned to his mirror and shook his head austerely 

"Take a look in the mirror and cry… Lord what you're doing to me? I have spent all my years in believing you! But I just can't get no relief, Lord!" He cried, refusing to look himself in the mirror. He turned to Sirius. "Somebody, somebody! Can anybody find me somebody to love?" He grasped Sirius's jumper and looked insanely into Sirius's eyes.

"James Potter was such a normal boy until his demise in the summer of nineteen-seventy-six." Remus said, his book thrown aside. 

"I work hard,"

"He works hard!" Peter laughed, throwing his arms up in delight at James singing.

"_Every day _of my life." James sung, shaking his shoulders, his head bowed down uncharacteristically. "I work till I ache my bones! At the end, I take home my hard earned pay all on my own!" James waved his hands in madness and collapsed on to his knees. "I get down on my knees! And I start to pray!" He raised his hands p in a preying position looking towards the ceiling for a sign of Godly presence. "Till the tears run down from my eyes! LORD!" 

"I need someone needs to see Madam Pomfrey about some mental and emotional issues." Sirius said, wisely, taking James's place on the bed.

"Lord - somebody - somebody! Can anybody find me - somebody to loooooove?" James's eyes darted from Peter, to Sirius, to Remus, then back to Sirius. 

"He works hard!" Peter screamed again, standing on the stool. 

"Everyday, I try and I try and I _try_! But _everybody _wants to put me down! They say I'm goin' crazy!"

"Well, he is… Good observation baby James!" Remus called, giving James the thumbs up. 

"They say I got a lot of water in my _brain_! Got no common sense! I got nobody left to believe!" James's eyes were bloodshot, and he looked murderous. He ran into the hall, careful not to slip on the rug. Remus, Sirius and Peter followed obediently trotting behind him like puppies ought to, (and how rats do, right?) 

"Mr Potter has finally _lost _it!" Peter cackled, rubbing his hands together maliciously. 

"Oh lord! Somebody - somebody! Can anybody find me somebody to love?" James ran around the corner to the landing. "Got no feel, I got no rhythm-" He stopped singing suddenly, and tumbled down the stairs, Remus, Sirius and Peter couldn't help but laugh at their friends absurdity, but clamoured down the stairs after James nonetheless. 

"You alright?" Sirius asked, his eyebrows furrowed.

"I just keep losing my beat! I'm ok, I'm alright." He sang, waving his arms about impatiently, and turning away from Sirius. "Ain't gonna face no defeat!" He reached out to the front door, and grabbed the bars on the windows. "I just gotta get out of this prison cell! Someday I'm gonna be free, lord!" James let go of the window bars and tumbled backwards on to Remus's feet. 

"Need somebody to love?" Remus asked, as James tugged at his trousers.

"Can anybody find me, somebody, to loooooovvvvveee?" James crooned, in his highest voice, climbing up Remus's leg, then skipping down the hall into the sitting room. 

James collapsed onto a nearby squishy chair and rubbed his temples. "It happened again, right?" The three teenagers nodded grimly. Remus however stepped forward and sat on the arm of the chair. 

"Write to her. A real, heartfelt sincere letter. She might prefer that, err _approach_." Remus said, squeezing James's shoulder in concern.

"She _hates_ me." 

"That may be so. But make her get to know the _real _ James Potter - Prongs." 

"Love is a funny thing…" 

"Tell me about it. Me and Sirius are going to do some gardening, that alright with you two?" Peter and James nodded. James of course knew what was going on with Remus and Sirius, Peter however, did not, and literally presumed they were gardening. 

**__**

Author's Note - Well, it's a marvellous night for a moon dance… _Don't you think? Well it is here in London… Clear inky black sky (maybe more with a bit of red pen scribbled over the black ink) , stars (well a few…) and the moon (yes that's perfect, but our dear Remus is scared of it…) _

I'm sorry… So sorry for the severe lack of chapter! You're all probably very mad with me, right? And this chapter isn't even that long… But, but… I'm doing A-Levels (NEWTS) now, and they take up a lot of my, er time… yeah… Nothing to do with falling asleep straight after Sex and the City and the Peep Show… Nothing at all! Where's the car? Ok ok… you got me. I've been swooning and sleeping (in my bed, not around! don't give me that look!) and shock horror! I have work to do, well a bit… Art and Textiles mainly, we had to write a story in English last week but that wasn't exactly difficult… So yes THAT'S why it's taken me two months to update! Has it been two months? August wasn't it? August was an evil month. October is a good month. Isn't it Ciara? Yes. She knows why I'm happy. And so does Emily. (Say he is a reviewer… I'm now paranoid… Say my English teacher is a reviewer… If any of you are in my English/art/textiles class, just whisper "I can read you." to really freak the shit out of me… Yes Yes… ok shutting up all ready! 

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English really is the best lesson….*faints* 

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Er, anyway! Review please my darlings, I love you all! Tremendously! I might be dead if it wasn't for you! *mwah!* 

Isn't autumn wonderful? Isn't Magenta from Rocky Horror wonderful? Yes we're agreed on things then. Onwards! To the next chapter! Goodness knows when that'll be up…Or what it'll be about… 

Oh yeah, Queen again.. Yes, yes I know… But it was so fitting! It's a lot different to what I had originally written… But that version may pop up again when the lads return to Hogwarts! 


	9. Wormy Wormtail

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Marauders - The Musical!

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Author's Note - Can you see it? Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs, singing their little hearts out! Well, I imagined it, and wrote it! Enjoy! And review! This is totally review driven! Read AN at bottom for more!

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Chapter Nine - Wormy Wormtail

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Saturday morning, just after an English fry-up, still at James's place in Hastings, 23rd June 1976

"Padfoot." Peter groaned transforming back into podgy teenager and trudging over to the patio in James's garden.

"What?" Sirius said innocently tucking black hair behind his ear.

"You gnawed on my shoes!" Peter picked up a pair of soggy, smelly, shredded shoes. "My last pair of shoes!"

"Erm… Well you need new ones anyway!" Sirius said brightly grinning broadly.

"No I didn't… Well, not really anyway."

"We'll go into town today and get you some… James there _is _a Wizarding community in Hastings right?" James trotted over frowning slightly.

"No. He'll have to make do with a Muggle shop. There's a good one by the seafront…" James's voice drifted off and a dreamy expression appeared on his face. "The seafront…"

"Prongs?" Sirius waved his hand in front of James's face, but all he did was gaze out towards the trees at the end of his garden. "Well… We'll pop along to the shoe shop then? Prongs? James? James Potter? James Ivan Potter? JAMES?"

"What sorry? Shoes? Lily?" James muttered his eyes de-misting and his vacant expression floundering.

"No Lily. We - need - shoes." Sirius said slowly pointing to Peter's bare feet and chewed up shoes. "I chewed. Yes I chewed Peter's shoes up by miiiistaake. Did you _understand _that James?"

"Yeah. I guess."

"Look, James. I thought I told you to _write _to her." Remus intervened chewing the inside of his mouth. James let out a weak laugh.

"I can't even speak properly… How am I meant to hold a _quill _and put it to _parchment _then _attach _it to a _damn owl_? I hate owls!" Along with Dark Magic and Snape, owls and other birds were up there on _James's Hate List Ô ._

"OK, we'll just concentrate on getting Peter some new shoes…"

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An hour later… The Hastings High Street, just off the seafront.

"Does it always smell of rotting fish by the seaside?" Said a disgruntled city boy Sirius.

"Yes… You get used to it." James said, his head down, and his hands in the pockets of his pale blue jeans

"Yeah, we have to, its what you stink of most of the time." Remus said a grin on his face.

"Look! An ice-cream stall!" Peter squealed clapping his hands together and walking rather quickly to get to the stall. Remus, Sirius and James stayed behind.

"There is a shoe shop here right? Peter is literally falling out of your borrowed shoes James." Remus asked, his eyebrows furrowed. Just as he said that Peter went flying out of the shoes and crashed into a little girl licking her 99 Flake with relish.

"MUMMY!" The little girl screamed. Peter stood up throwing the bits of vanilla ice cream off his white bellbottoms.

"S-sorry!" Peter gasped apologetically and looked round for the others to help him out. "I just fell out of my shoes!"

"Get some new uns then!" The cockney mother yelled. "I brin' me liddle Yvonne aht fera day 'cause she's go' as'ma frum all tha' Lundun air, an' wha' 'appens? She guts stoomped on by some fa' teenaga!" The woman's face was now as fiery as her red hair. Peter just ogled at the woman in horror stuttering apologies and suggesting he buy little Yvonne a new 99.

"That woman's hair… It looks just like Lily's… How I miss it." James whimpered, his hand going forwards trying to touch it.

"James!" Sirius and Remus said at the same time holding him back. "Trust us. That isn't Lily."

"If… If you say so… C'mon Peter. Time for shoes." James ambled by and grabbed Peter by the arm getting him away from the wild woman.

The four boys ended up in a groggy shoe shop that smelt like a dreadful mix of sea salt, rotting fish, cheesy feet and cheap men's aftershave, obviously used to try and spruce up the smell of the sad little shop, it was that or the stench of the salesman, who sported a bigger afro then John Jordan, a Seventh year Quidditch enthusiast at Hogwarts.

"Hi I'm Michael!" He said chirpily clapping his sweaty hands together and flashing his gleaming teeth at the lads. "How may I help you?" He continued to smirk.

"We need to get our friend some shoes that aren't the colour of your uniform, _Michael_." Sirius said his expression the opposite of Michael. Michael was wearing dreadful tight orange bell bottoms, and a equally disgusting yellow and orange shirt, it all clashed awfully with the brown, beige and orange tones of the dreary shop itself. Peter pointed to himself and smiled nervously at enthusiastic Michael. Michael looked Peter up and down for a split second then asked for his size.

"How big are you?" Michael asked cheerfully, his voice slightly camp.

"What? Sorry?"

"Your shoe size dear."

"Oh! I'm a nine."

"Small… Shame… Not very tall either… Well… Lets see…" Michael played with his fingers in thought before turning around to Peter and clapping his hands in glee. "Oh I know _exactly _what!"

"What?" Peter said rather dully.

"PLATFORMS!"

"What?" James laughed stepping forward. "You're gonna get Peter here _platforms_?"

"Yes! And?" Michael said, slapping his cheek in horror. "It's the latest fashion don't you know?"

"Do we look like we follow fashion?" Michael looked at podgy Peter in his stained white bellbottoms, to Remus in his threadbare pale jeans and tartan shirt which was undone a few buttons, to Sirius who was sporting tight jeans and a flamboyant black spangled top with kohl pencil around his pale eyes and then to James who was kitted out in pale blue jeans and a yellow tee-shirt.

"Actually… I thought _you _were! Look at him!" Michael pointed to Sirius who was looking at a pair of blue Mary-Janes on display.

"What about him?" Remus asked, laughing slightly. 

"He is _so _David Bowie." Michael looked at the vacant expressions in horror. "Y'know Ziggy Stardust! Maybe he's more of a Marc Bolan without the curls… Or even Freddie Mercury without the 'tash and hair…" Sirius scratched his head.

"Do these shoes come in a size twelve?" Sirius asked pointing to the Mary-Janes.

"I've never seen anything like it…" Michael muttered to himself in horror and walked off to the storage room "Not knowing about glam rock when he's glammed up to the nines…"

"This is why we never normally shop in Muggle shops James… They talk nonsense! Who the fuck is David Bowie? I don't want to be like David Bowie who ever he is!"

"He muttered something about a John Travolta to me!" Peter said looking terrified. "Something about _disco_. I almost thought he was talking about spells. He said I could almost perfect the disco look! I mean what's that all about?" Peter saw down on a futon and took of James's large shoes and waited for Michael to come back with the so-called Platforms.

"I wonder what a platform shoe is…" Sirius asked Remus who was playing with a gold coloured flip-flip. "I mean we go on _Platform Nine and Three Quarters._ Maybe its got trains on it…"

"Why would a shoe have trains on it?" Remus asked, picking up the gold flip-flop and examining it in the light.

"Muggles are weird…" Sirius sighed. Michael danced back into the shop holding several boxes under his arms.

"I have them! Even if you lot seem to be ignorant of glam rock and disco! Next thing you'll tell me you've never heard of the Bee Gees!" The boys didn't dare ask.

"What do you have for me?" Peter asked wiggling his toes in their patterned socks.

"Platforms! White ones with tartan patterns… Yellow ones with purple spots! Oh delightful red ones with white stripes, like those barber shop post things! And, the most sublime blue ones that glow in the dark! Oh! Oh! And my favourite. I own _two pairs _of these! These glow in UV light and have a charming checked pattern on the platform itself. Oh you'll love them dear." Michael went to take the lid off the first box and handed the first platform to Peter who was still looking nervous and shaky.

Peter slipped his feet into the special ones Michael mentioned last. They were a perfect fit… Peter stood up and he was _tall_. Almost as tall as Remus!

"I'm all tall as Remus!" Peter gasped.

"Unusual name…" Michael muttered. Peter strode over to the main mirror and felt immensely proud, strapping and _sexy_.

"I feel so… sexy."

"That's the spirit dear! See I told you these shoes were marvellous!"

"I'm too sexy… I'm too sexy for my love, love's going to leave me!" Peter's eyes suddenly filled with an abrupt excitement and he jumped onto the futon and started to shake his arse.

"Go boy! Go!"

"I'm too sexy for my shirt! Too sexy for my shirt! So sexy it huuurrts!" Peter ripped off his white shirt to reveal pale flabby skin and man boobs that wasn't all that sexy.

"Oh no boy.. That's not good boy."

"And I'm too sexy for Milan! Too sexy for Milan, New York and Japaaan!" Peter started to do a manic dance, wiggling his fat arse and man boobs and skipping around the futons, careful not to fall off.

"Okay it was funny at first honey, but now it's gross dear!" Michael continued to protest, shielding his eyes from Peter's dancing.

"And I'm too sexy for your party! Too sexy for your party! No way I'm disco dancing!" He thrust his right arm into the air pointing at the ceiling and his left arm pointing to the brown dusty floor, and started to wiggle his bits again. "I'm a Marauder you know what I mean?" He sang to Michael, who was now positively terrified.

"If you say so dear!"

"And I do my little turn on the catwalk!" He jumped off the row of futons and strode down the middle of the shop his hands on his hips, turning confidently as he did this. "Yeah on the catwalk! On the catwalk yeah! I do my little turn on the catwalk!"

"Don't turn on me little boy!"

"I'm too sexy for my broom! Too sexy for my broom!"

"Peter doesn't own a broom… _I _do!" James muttered staring at Peter's dancing display. "I don't want him gyrating on my broom!"

"Too sexy for this rooooom! And I'm too sexy for my hat! Too sexy for my hat! What do you think about that?"

"That I'll never be able to wear my hat again…" Remus mouthed, clinging onto Sirius in sheer horror.

"I'm a Marauder you know what I mean! And I do my little turn on the catwalk!" He started to stride and pirouette again… "Yeah! On the catwalk! On the catwalk! Yeah!" Michael seemed to be muttering the Lord's prayer to himself and was looking around the room wondering how he managed to get the worst customers Britain had to offer. "I shake my little touché on the catwalk!" Peter glided over to Michael and shook that arse once again.

"AARRRGGHH!" Michael shrieked holding the lid to a box up to his face.

"I'm too sexy for my cat! Too sexy for my cat!"

"Poor cat…" Sirius sighed… "I wonder if Ted his cat has to put up with this often…"

"Poor pussy! Poor pussy cat!" Peter continued to wail, his arms dancing over his head.

"I'm so glad I'll never have to see a poor pussy!"

"I'm too sexy for my love! Too sexy for my love!" Peter started to caress his body, making Michael quiver at the lip. "Love's going to leave me!"

"Can you leave here?…" Michael said desperately.

"And I'm too sexy for this song!" Peter ran forward, did a clumsy cartwheel and attempted the splits but ripped his white bellbottoms in the process. This seemed to get Peter back into gear and he looked around the shop wildly looking for some sort of answer as to why he was on the floor, why his trousers were ripped, and why his shirt off and his chest for all to see… When he saw Michael he stood up and proudly proclaimed "I'LL TAKE THEM!"

**__**

Author's Note

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It's been a long time since I updated… 17th October 2003! Well here's the first update, almost a year since I started writing it!

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Lookies! It's not a Queen song, but a Right Said Fred song… I've kept the mad-cap Seventies themes. And added a camp afro dude as a comedy device! College is literally over so I could write!

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PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!

And I know you will, because you're all so wonderful and complimentary and I love you all! Because this was written for you weird people who like reading my fics… 


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